Blogger, now with 50% more livejournal

Here’s how this one works.
1. Choose the 4th picture folder on my computer
2. Choose the 4th picture
3. Explain the picture
4. Tag 4 people to do the same

This is Greg. Say "Hi," Greg.
Greg says hi.
This was taken in Joshua Tree National Park, CA. He's wearing my shirt because he lost his luggage. Most people I know would have freaked out the whole time, but he's chill like that. Well, I guess technically he didn't lose his luggage, airport employees lost his luggage. But who cares? He eventually got it all back I think. We were out in Coachella for 3 day long concert thing, the details of which are on the Picasa page. But again, who cares?
Today has been pretty boring. Not many tickets to work. At least there is a Christmas party to look forward to tonight. Oh and one tomorrow at a piano bar or something. We'll see if there is any drunken debauchery that warrants blogging. Crossing my fingers!
While I'm here I must pose the question: WTF IS UP WITH BOOTS?
I guess it should follow that people sought out the hugest f'in sunglasses possible for the sake of "fashion." Why not deck out with some giant freaking fuzzy boots? You're halfway to a outfit worthy of some cheesy post-apocolyptic 80's movie. I'm going to buy stock in faux-fur vests and make hundreds of American dollars someday! I have to hold back the urge to go up to 6th grade girls and ask them "Hello little girls, are you going skiing?"
"Uh no"
"Well then get those f'in boots off your f'in feet."
But I digress. I'm just jealous that I can't pull off such keen fashion sense. I remember the early 90's when Kurt Cobain made it ok for me to wear my dad's old plaid jacket and not wash my jeans for weeks on end. I wonder what ever happened to ol' Kurt...

oh yeah, the tagging... I know only a few people who read this blog and fewer still with pictures that are not considered obscene. Here goes: Lili, Greg, uh... Tiffany... Kelly?

I call it... Wonky Snowman with Penis

Not too many people appreciate the delicate art of unintentionally sexual Christmas confections. Some people see this as a cookie with an extra leg upon which to prop itself. Some see a snowman dong. I see a tasty holiday treat! This picture was in the Columbia monthly magazine intriguingly named... wait for it... Inside Columbia. They mainly deal with the going-on's of inside and outside Columbia.
The photography leaves something to be desired. Many of the pictures in this month's issue are of models in festive party attire captured halfway between thinking about maybe wanting to sneeze and contemplating whether the universe is contracting or expanding. I wish I'd taken more pictures while sitting in the allergist's office. I assumed their content would be online, but they are funneling most of their resources into the naughty cookie market at the moment.
Kelly and I visited the ol homestead last week. If you leave Columbia right after work and stop for gas and cheap truck-stop birthday presents for the wrong nephew you can make it to my grandma's house before 1am. Go ahead. Try it. The first day there we introduced her to Wii Bowling. It only took her about 50 tries to get the buttons down, but once she did it was pretty fun. I was pretty shocked when she got a turkey before the second game was finished. That pissed me off so I proceeded to kick her ass at golf. Take that, Grandma!
We had 4 turkey dinners to go to that week. Jason and Dawn's was full of people we didn't really know, but the turducken was damn tasty. The dinner at my grandma's was less than ideal. Someone decided that since we should combine it with a 3 year old's birthday! YAY! There was much yelling frantic running about. But it did give me a chance to admire my half-sister's amazing decorating abilities. Yes, Woppy Birthde? 7@ny indeed.
After we escaped that dinner we went to Joanna's mom's and there were exactly 0 children running around. It was amazing. People were making intelligent conversation over wine and candles. My head almost assplode!

"Wine used as a pun"

We stayed at a B&B in Hermann this weekend. You probably can't make out the title of the book on the bed, but it reads Atlas of Communism. I don't know if the innkeepers left if there as a joke or if the town of Hermann is more proud of its German heritage than once thought. We toured 7 wineries ranging from the "hey that's pretty good" to "hey wait a minute, did you make this in the toilet?"
We met some nice people and had a great time all-in-all. The B&B was supposed to be haunted, but we never saw the slightest signs of supernatural activity. I did have a dream that we were staying in an abandoned elementary school that was full of ghosts including Pyramid-Head from Silent Hill. That was fun. I don't want to bore anyone with the details of our trip, but check out the pictures of me acting far more drunk than I actually was.

Bad Reads

Good Reads, you've gone too far. Apparently they have a new feature that lets you post what page of what book you're on, as if anyone would care. Do they think people need to stop reading, update their goodreads page with what page they're on, then continue reading? I sure don't, by golly!
Sorry, it's a full moon. GWAR!
So the Kelly and I are off to Hermann this weekend for our anniversary and a wine tour thing. We would bring our bikes if the temperature was expected to get over 40, but it ain't. The B&B rooms are all kinda scary looking. One of the other couples is preggers so she's automatically the designated driver. Sometimes getting knocked up is a good thing!
Sometimes.

And I was going to post some pics of the Halloween party, but they were taken on Kelly's phone and look like crap. They are on my picasa site if you're curious.

Sun-Maid Raisins

Got bored. Have some haiku's:

Google
Scarlett Johansson
What show was she in again?
Image SafeSearch off.

CNN
What is on the news?
Probably some politics
HEY BILLY MAYS HERE

Fox News
Obama is bad
Even his name is scary
No, that's not racist.

Zombies
Did you hear something?
Hey stop chewing on my leg.

Damn now I'm hungry.

Burning Gourds!

Look out! The grim reaper has a pronounced forehead and a testicles nose. Kelly was truly inspired last night. Our pumpkin carving party went from 7 people to just we two, but that's fine cuz other people are stupid! Who needs em? We made a fire in the pit as the sun set. As I carved my pumpkin I wondered how I would explain this ritual to someone in Liberia. Our culture is so detached from what we were a few thousand years ago. We take so much for granted. Just because I show up to work and appear to remain alert for 8 hours a day I'm entitled to a seemingly unlimited supply of food. I can call forth running water from about 14 locations in my house. To American's that's nothing. To the rest of the world it's heaven. If my jeans don't fit just right I can run out and but a dozen others... sorry I'm starting to ramble and depress. Sometimes you just want to run away and live in the woods until you think what am I going to eat? How will I take a 10 minute hot shower in the morning? Who will be my role model now that my role model is gone, gone, ducked back down the alley with some roly poly little bat-faced girl. Damn you, Paul Simon! I will not call you Al! It makes no sense!

So anyways, who has their Halloween costume ready? It may be the most important decision you make this year. Screw the presidential race. Hey that reminds me. I think I heard something about Canada having an election recently. Good for them! I think I heard a 5 second quip on one of them "news" channels. I guess it's somewhat important that they erected a new leader, but who has time to report that when there's so much juicy finger-pointing going on in this country? They say Obama is up in the polls which is good, but all the lazy youngins will use that as an excuse to skip voting. Look guys! Every electoral vote counts. The citizens, not so much, but if you are a member of the electoral college you better get out there and vote. My mind can not wrap around exactly how that process works, but I trust it's in the best interest of this great nation. Amen.

I'm older yet younger

This weekend was pretty fun. On Friday Kelly's previous bosslady came over with her husband and 2 kids. I broiled some swordfish steaks that marinated in amaretto, white wine and crushed tomatoes. They were served with potatoes lyonnaise and f'in amazing if I do say so myself. Kelly baked some pumpkin bread for dessert that was divine. I made the kids some blueberry waffles for obvious reasons.

Saturday we had a few people over to celebrate me reaching 210 dog years! I never thought I had it in me. Kelly got some people to chip in for a Wii which I guess negates me getting older somehow.

Sunday we joined a 30 person float trip down the Missouri. We went from Rocheport to Katfish Katy's where there was supposed to be blues and BBQ, but I think they ran out of food before we got there. The river was a bit low. We could reach the bottom with out paddles most of the time. But that's good because there were more sandbars and impromptu islands that you could run around on to stretch out your kayaked legs. The water wasn't so cold that you couldn't spash around like an idiot. So that was fun.

I would write more, but I gots me some inventory to check off.

Rocktober's a-comin!

Wake up, people. It's almost time for the coolest month on Erf. We call it October because it's the 8th month. Octo is Latin for Dr. Octopus who had 6 arms, and ber which is the international airport code for Berlin, Germany. See, science makes everything making sense. If you don't believe me then you're an idiot. But this October is even specialier. I'll be turning 30 years old. That means you have to buy me pearls and diamonds. Get shoppin'!

This is what my new car's butt looks like. She can handle quite a huge load. The picture links to September's web album. It's nothing impressive since not much happened. Been busy with work and side-jobs. And I mean really busy. People keep quitting and that leaves more work for the rest of us because nobody else wants to work here. We should ask Congress for a brazillion dollar bail-out. Problem solved!

Reads that is good.

If you haven't joined Good Reads yet then you are a lazy human being. That's what the liberal two-winged media would have you believe! I'm currently updating my books to avoid a certain Media Specialist. That and I'm lazy. This coffee better kick in or I'm gonna... probably just sit here some more.
Another tech is resigning so I get yet another school to take care of! At least Kelly works there too so we can do lunch on Friday's or something. I can help watch her back from the crazy vulture ladies with nothing better to do than start trouble. She's been having to do to the whole Jackie Chan "I don't wan trouble" routine only through overtly polite emails and positive behavior reinforcement... to 40 year-olds. Sometimes it's still surprising how immature people can be. Or how some people still can't plug in a mouse. Every teacher in our district has a master's degree. You'd think at some point in the process they would have come across an unplugged mouse or network cable and utilized incredible deductive reasoning skills to plug a cable into a port of the opposite shape. I used to think that their inexperience was my job security, but I've been to busy lately to see it that way. And by busy I guess I mean pissy... now that I think about it... crap I better get back to work.
One last note before I paste a plug for Good Reads: listening to an entire school of teachers and kids recite the pledge of allegiance is really creepy. It's a daily reminder that we must obey the Republic and the Christian god under which it is ruled. TTFN!

I, Jedi by Michael A. Stackpole

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is my first Start Wars book and it's not bad. Lots of action and geekiness abound. The library had a whole shelf to choose from, but with a name like Michael A Stackpole, how can you go wrong? I was actually looking for the new Michael Ian Black, but that isn't offered yet. Anywhoo, I recommend this book and Sam the Sea Cow to LeVar Burton and friends.


View all my reviews.

Busy beaver!

First I have to apologize to all of my awesome fans. I know there are practically millions of people who view my blog daily (probably because it's set as their homepage) and are met with the disappointment of another day gone by without a new amazing post. While I have no excuses for this I can only say here are some excuses: I've been like busy and stuff. My department keeps losing staff yet the job gets larger and larger with more to support and more problems occurring all the time. The start of school is a crazy time to be alive! Those hippies at MSNBC need to take a shower and get a real job! WWPBD (What Would Pappa Bear Do?) Reality has a liberal bias and it's got to stop.
It's hard to turn away from all of the up-to-the-minute commentary and pretty flashy lights on da t.v. machine. So many good questions are being asked and so many vague, misdirected "answers" are being regurgitated back as if it's acceptable. I'll soon reach the point where it's so frustrating I'll have to remind myself that it's all pointless. If you don't like one of the candidate's speeches that's ok! They didn't write it! And if you don't like who someone is going to vote for that's ok! We're only voting for people to vote for us based on the population of your state. Good thing Americans aren't good at math.

Alaskaless

My next blog was supposed to be all about Alaska and how much fun I had, but once I got back to work I had too much to do. The weeks between summer school ending and fall semester beginning is very busy. I've got all these computers to image and move back into trailers and network drops to run. Monday afternoon I got home to find our friend Jenni and her new sea foam green Buddy 125 scooter. She ran through the basic operations showing off the trunk space, 100mpg engine, and other bells n whistles I've since forgotten.

Since Kelly was too shy to try it out I thought I would. It looks so friendly doesn't it? So I get on out of the drive way like a pro, scoot down to the end of the block and stop. After a car passes it seems pretty safe to turn onto the street. That's where everything goes crazy! I start going forward with the little twisty handlebar scooter-go-bar-of-death and try to turn right, but the damn thing (now possessed by Mephisto?) decides to keep going straight into the street. I try a bit more to turn right, but only start to squiggle. I try really hard to turn right and this time the bastard bike of Fleet Street falls over and crushes my left foot. How did it crush my left foot when I fell to the right? I don't know. Another argument for demonic possession.

Kelly and Jenni, our new and possibly ex-friend, were waiting in the driveway. They remember hearing a bit of a crash shortly after my take-off. They made some jokes about how impossible it was that such a sound could have anything to do with a perfectly competent human on a perfectly innocent motor scooter. After a few more minutes of uncomfortable conversation some guy who saw me crash drove past my driveway and asked Kelly if that was her bike. I wish it was just a joke because that sounds like something I would ask some random guy to do, but alas, twasn't. Kelly took me to the emergency room because she could see white stuff poking through the red stuff on top of my left foot. It took 2 hours to get some x-rays done and 3 more to find out the lost my x-rays. But it's all good. Some guy said that it didn't look like anything was broken so I should check with my general prac. within 5-7 days. Despite my complete faith in the dickhead doctors at the University Hospital I went ahead and saw my doctor Wednesday. She did just about as much for me, but in half the time! She basically said check with an orthopedic specialist. So I crutched my way there today so he could poke the hell out of it with his fingers. At least he gave me a robo-boot so I can get around without fear of bumping into stuff and screaming like a little girl.

My pictures of Alaska are online, but I have yet to go through all the itineraries and write up a journal entry, but I'll get around to it soon. Starting next week I'll only have 3 schools instead of 5 so maybe I'll have an hour or two to write some stuff down, kinda like I'm doing now... oh crap!

blarg

I've had a couple of blogs composed in my head, but they all eventually spiral down to depressive subjects like the grossness of American over consumption. Speaking of frivolousness Kelly and I are going on an Alaskan cruise on the 26th. It's a bit of an extravagant expenditure of hard earned money, but it's Kelly's money after all and if she wants to spend it watching a glacier melt then who am I to rob her of that simple pleasure?
Which reminds me: here's a skater covered in bees:

Crampin' and Floatin'

We took off Friday and drove down to Lesterville, MO to go floating on the black river. Much to our dismay that idea was shared by dozens of the most annoying frat boys I've ever encountered. When booking your campsite and the proprietors inquire if you would like a family campground or a noisy campground you should respond with "family." We got about 4 hours asleep that weekend, but still managed to have a lot of fun. Not nearly as much fun as all the douchebags, but we enjoyed ourselves irreguardlessly. We had about a dozen people in our group and about 200 jello shots. Those helped.
Jess was kind enough to tote our kayaks on his trailer so we didn't worry about them flying off the highway. Saturday morning... or more like noon on Saturday we managed to get on the river. It was a bit low so you had to drag your boat in some parts, but others we deep and full of fish that you could see through the crystal clear water. Kelly and I never tumped over, but I think everyone in canoes did at least once. There were lots of downed trees which made for some interesting turns. I wish I had more pictures of the river, but I didn't dare bring my camera in the boat.
Sunday was more relaxed until we drove home. After only 2 miles past a wrong turn we found a car that had just wrecked. There was some teenage girl inside just freakin out. We pulled over and got her out of the car since it smelled like gas. I ran down the road to slow the traffic because people were taking the turns at about 65. This was somewhere on Route-J which is a 2 lane highway through some mountains so it twists around a lot. She lost control at the top of a hill and swerved all around, drove up an embankment, flipped over at least once before the car dropped by a tree. She was damn lucky to have stopped where she did because anywhere else she would have fallen down about 100 feet and we never would have seen her. I hope she's ok. Kelly said she could see her skull.
ANYWAYS! Fun weekend for all. Last night we went to a party and saw some kids dismember a piñat. That's always fun. I'm sure more happened this weekend, but I can't remember and I'd rather leave work now.

Greggy-poots!

Greg came to town Thursday night and we had a great time. The heat and humidity of the weekend tried to sap our energies, but we persevered. Greg didn't come into town until late so Kelly and I went to the Twilight Festival by ourselves. There was a concert at Flat Branch park with some guy who sounded like Willie Nelson. We saw some kids dressed up as mimes so we got scared and wandered around downtown. There were some more bands playing around and freaks throwing fire around.

On Friday we made pancakes and biked around Rocheport. Apparently Lewis and Clark explored the area exactly 240 years ago. I thought there would be more people around celebrating like crazy, but it was just we 3. That afternoon we went to Jess's 30th birthday party. We got him a first aid kit because he's always stabbing himself with something. After that we played around downtown since it was such a nice night.
On Saturday we went to the Art in the Park thing, but it was like 120 degrees and 120% humidity. Nobody really had the power to walk around and look at art. We rather felt like dying. After a brief nap and movie at home we mustered the energy to go to the symphony. They played what sounded like John Williams at first then after the intermission they rocked out Beethoven's 9th. I was awesome, but hard to enjoy as you can see from the pictures we were seated behind a 300 pound 4 year old. She could not sit still for 3 seconds. Every once in a while she thought the conductor needed help so she would wave her ham-hands around until her wrist got tired. It was very difficult to not pop her on the head with my program. But we restrained and it was a good show. After that we shot some pool and watched Spiderman.
Greg had to leave Sunday morning. He was going to go kayaking with us, but his innate fear of getting slightly wet prevented him from doing so. Kelly and I strapped the kayaks to the roof and hit Finger Lakes. It was beautiful out there and the perfect temperature to stick your feet into the water. In one of the pictures you can almost see the deer that was resting on the bank. We got pretty close before she darted off into the forest. I'll find her one day. And I'll eat her.
The end.

I take orders from my toothbrush

So we finally got out kayaks. It took a couple of trips to Bass Pro to convince them to get off their lazy asses and sell them to us. We still need 1 more life jacket though. Apparently they are expecting hundreds of morbidly obese people to take to the lakes this summer. We could only find 1 small and everything else was like XXXXXL. America is truly the land of plenty!

On Friday we had some of Kelly's intern friends over for a Cajun tur-duc-en which was surprisingly delicious. The turkey part was a bit dry, but we didn't want to add gravy for fear that it would rob some of the meat upon meat upon meat experience. Saturday we went to a wedding in Ashland. Thankfully it wasn't too long and we don't know the people well enough to stay any longer than necessary. Sunday we hosted a surprise birthday party for Monica. Apparently she is 20 years older than she looks. Who knew? We stayed up until the wee hours talking about religion and ghosts! Ooooohh. Scary...

Monday was pretty lazy. We met Jess and Monica at Finger Lakes to test out the kayaks. I had never actually been in one so I'm pretty glad I enjoyed it since we bought 2 of them. Transporting them is an adventure in itself. We are able to put them both on top of my Contour and tie them down with straps and rope. It's pretty scary getting on the highway because you can see them move around a little bit. We try to judge the faces of the people in the cars passing us to see if the boats are going to fall off or not. Nobody seemed to be too alarmed. I'm either going to look for a car with a real roof rack or maybe a trailer with which to carry them, but Uncle Bush's money is almost all spent. I invested in the economy! I feel like a productive citizen. I'm doing my part to stop the bug invasion from Klendathu, are you?

After this week's dentist appointment I was issued an Oral-B® Triumph™ with SmartGuide™ProfessionalCare™ 9900 (1.21 gigawatt) toothbrush. Apparently there exists a need for people to be told which quadrant and for how long to brush. It's very powerful too. Feels like the dentist is right there with me in my mouth! After 30 seconds it will inform you it's time to move to another quadrant of your mouth for optimum cleaning. If you do it right you get a smiley face! I used to make fun of people with power toothbrushes, but they do get the job done a bit better. And in a couple of years they will develop sentience and dominate the fallible human race.

I just remembered that my phone is a model 9900 just like my toothbrush. I guess that's the most official sounding number that the product-naming-people have come up with recently. That's really something to think about...

Pointless Low Quality Video!

Double Fish'ed

Saturday morning Kelly and I got some licenses, worms and poles. We went out on some lake, I think it's called Little Dixie, with Jess and Monica on their boat. I had more fun than I thought I would. Usually fishing is boring as hell, but if you get some friends and a boat it can be a blast. We didn't catch anything big, just a dozen ... uh little shiny guys. I don't know what they were, but they were delicious. About halfway through the day Jess broke his captain's chair and flew into the lake. The chair was saved and he has plans to reattach it with 1 inch bolts instead of 7/8 inch bolts. Good luck, Jess! Clicking the picture goes my Picasa Fishing 1 folder.

Sunday was less fruitful. We got up, played with the bunny (oh yeah, we inherited a bunny) made some muffins, then went out to Ashland Lake. It's a beautiful little lake, but we only caught 1 little fishy. People around us were catching like crazy, but the 4 of us had no luck. Even worse there was a mildly retarded woman sitting on the wall who would yell out "I got him, he's huge" every time she caught something. I wanted to accidentally cast my hook into her face, but Jess said that would be slightly rude. Apparently there is some kind of fishing etiquette of which I was previously unaware.

All in all it was a great weekend. I did not let the mean ol' dentist dampen my resolve to get outside and kill some nature.

Cabbages and Patches

Another exciting week of... uh... stuff. We had some awesome storms which was cool to watch, but it cause intermittent connection issues which is not fun if you're trying to kill monsters. Which we were, a lot. Very dorkily. So dorkily that when we got kicked off the the 4th time we went to the library. Then later on when we got kicked off the 6th time we to a coffee shop to drink spiked lattes and margaritas while we played wow.

In the evening we watched another episode of Jericho and I think that will be the last for me. The writing is just terrible. It's almost as bad as Kyle XY, which is actually pretty funny if you watch if for the right reasons, which makes Kelly clear her throat while you giggle at its horribleness.

I had some Pranks cereal this morning. It's a knockoff of Trix, but I can not find a picture of it online. Apparently there are hundreds of actual cereal pranks played on people with amazing results! Instead here are some of my fav cereal from the days of yore:

I remember these being very good. They were pretty rare so we didn't get them very often. Then when we did have it I was so excited I would often get in trouble and have to eat oatmeal. Oh cruel fate! Why hate you forsaken me? Why am I personifying you? Oh yes, I'm bored. Oops I mean I'm working hard as I should be. Well I would be if there was something to do. I only have a couple of tickets so one must pace themselves.

Mmm. Who didn't love the creepy blandness of Cabbage Patch Kids cereal? I liked to think it was made of real dolls (and it kinda tasted like it was) because Becky had a few and they were ugly. Ugly as sin! But there was something about the crispness and odd tinge of some unnameable ingredient that kept me coming back for more and more and more until I puked all over the dog.

The end.

Mmm muffins

The weekend was pretty nice. Very slow and I slept way too much, but what'r'ya gonna do? I've spent the last hour updating my Good Reads page (you should join!) and trying not to itch my poison oak spots. They are from pulling weeks last week and I may have added to it this week as well. But at least 99% of the garden and lawn is weed-free. Now I have to hope the castor oil keeps the moles at bay. Those little buggers teach the heck out of my beautiful beautiful lawn. Any by my I mean the bank's.
Let's see... anything exciting happen? Nerp! Saw Ironman. It was as cheesy as I thought, but not so bad that I asked for my money back. Oh no, his enemy is a bigger one of him! Scary! Just like the new Hulk coming out. His enemy is a bigger Hulk? Will he find it in himself to overcome the adversity? Probably.
We went for a nice little hike around Cosmo Park. It was hard to get lost in the woods because there was a softball game going on in the park. We could hear the yells and cheers (as if it's a real sport) from blocks away.
Jess is planning a canoe trip in a couple of weeks. Kelly and I really want to go, but we both have appointments that weekend. I have a dentist appointment Friday morning which will leave me numb for some time afterwards and Kelly has a summer school meeting Saturday morning. We may still go and she'll just have to drive to the meeting in the morning and meet up with us later. We are planning on camping and floating all weekend, but not sure where yet. Maybe the Meramec or Huzzah Creek.
Well I had better pretend to do some work now... or play with Inkscape!

Erf

Phew now that Earth day is over we can begin the more widely celebrated holiday that lasts all year long: F*ck the Earth Day. I'm leaving a trail of styrofoam peanuts everywhere I go. Are you doing your part? Come on, people! The sooner we destroy the planet the easier it will be for our grandchildren to die a quick, relatively painless death. And by our grandchildren I mean your grandchildren. I'm not such a heartless bastard that I would bring life into this crumbling world of shit knowing full well that we'll soon be short of habitable land and breathable air.

Damn that got a little depressing. Sorry about that, folks. I bounce between having great faith that humanity will put the needs of the Earth above its own instant gratification, then I'm reminded of the stark reality that we are selfish bastards. It's wonderful!

Michael Stipe recently said "If you would have told me in 1973 that in 2008 a black man and a woman running for president would still be a big deal, I would have laughed at you." I still see posters around my schools that have a picture of a 10 year old girl and the caption "When I grow up I want to be the first woman president." Sorry, kid, that's only 40 years away. 'Merica's gotta vote for someone with 9 houses and women can't own property! Oops, that may have changed. I'll check my state legislature this afternoon.

Maybe I'm just pissy. I paid the house note too soon and now we're broke until payday next week. Here's a random comic from PLIF:

Balls

Happy Monday, everybody! That includes everyone who will read this later in the week, but not those of you who never read this. Those people can go to hell.

Anyways! The volleyball tournament was on Sunday. That didn't turn out so well for us. We started out playing a team wearing shirts that boasted previous volleyball tournament championships. They were playing way too aggressively. It was plainly obvious that we weren't that good, but they kept spiking the ball as if it was necessary. Plus there was some crazy rule that kept costing us points. Each team had to have 3 men and 3 women. A guy can hit the ball over, but if 2 guys hit the ball then a woman must also hit it before it goes over or the other team gets a point. So not only do you have to worry about just getting the damn ball over the net, but you have to make sure a woman hits it too without exceeding 3 people touching it.

But enough complaining. More stuff happened. Like on Friday. Kelly's dad wrecked his motorcycle and broke a bunch of bones. He was driving down the road when the van in front of him decided to turn left. Sources say she didn't use a turn signal and had no break lights so he didn't have time enough to stop. He hit the back of her van and got thrown over it. He broke a few things. I'm not sure exactly what but he will forever have a metal plate in his pelvis. So I guess he's a cyborg now. That's pretty cool. His recovery is going much better than expected.

Kelly drove to Nashville on Friday through some heavy rain which took about 8 hours. She got to come back home by 6 on Saturday so we went to Jess and Monica's for homemade tacos. Apparently people make their own taco shells from tortillas instead of pulling stale crap out of a box. Who knew?

They were a bit greasy, but so damn good. I learned a few tricks and can't wait to try them out. Like chopping up cilantro and mixing it with lettuce. That was amazing. There was just enough chili powder in the chicken too. Damn now I'm hungry just thinking about it.

Let's see. What else happened? We went to the Earth Day festival in Peace Park. We didn't stay too long because it was pretty boring. We decided to go home and do yard work instead. But then the yard work turned into cleaning out the garage. A lot of work but rewarding. Then we tried to level our Horde toons up a bit, watched Napoleon Dynamite and ate some leftover enchiladas. All in all not a bad weekend.

I don't have a picture of Vince on his bike, but here's a picture of his butt:

Zombies!

Andrea and Zak invited us to the zombie party at Ragtag cinema on Friday. It was pretty fun dressing up like the undead. Way more fun than the actual movie Diary of the Dead. Sure there were some funny parts and cool makeup, but it drug on for a while. The seating at the theater may have worsened the experience because they are not the lush new seats that a normal theater would have.
Kelly was interviewed by some kid who works for the Maneter. The kid was very nervous like he's never interview somebody before. Or maybe he'd never interviewed a zombie before. We'll never know!
Anyway here are some pics we took when we got home that morning. Andrea has another of the 4 of us, but I guess I need to pay her for it or something.

Zombies!

Geek Pride

I wish my life was more exciting. Then I would have something legitimate to blog. Blog is a verb right? Just like Google can now be an adjective? Awesome.

Kelly and I worked hard last night getting our toons to 70. I guess it's an accomplishment. Kinda like beating a game only now there's a lot more game? Huh? Yeah, anyways. She's got a pally named Charice from that Soul Coughing song about English girls with ghetto names. My priest is named RustyPhelps. There's some guy at Autozone with what sounds like a creepy porno star name. KlausBarbie is almost 70 as well, but he's more fun to pvp.



I got Kelly the Dog Silencer Pro for her birthday. Apparently it'll make high pitched noises and annoy the neighborhood dogs as much as they annoy us. I hope it works. I'd hate to bust out the antifreeze.

Ok that's enough geekery. I should get back to "work." I'm scanning some yearbooks for pictures of a retiring Principal and making a PowerPoint.

p.s. I finally got Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up out of my head.

Oh wait, CRAP! Curse you Greg!!! I hope he invades your dreams. Look: he's thinkin about your dad. What's your dad like?

And I'm gonna tie you up


And I'm gonna hold you down


And I'm gonna tell a lie and hurt you.


And I'm gonna make you cry


And I'm gonna say good bye


And I'm gonna tear your soul... apart.

Memphis Blues

HAHA GET IT? "Memphis Blues" is a pun because the city is famous for music and giving people colorful diarrhea. My trip was pretty fun. Saw lots of people, but missed seeing a few because there simply wasn't enough time or meals. Most visits center around eating a meal so one must plan accordingly.
I didn't get a chance to see Mike (get a cell phone) or Tiffany (stop going to school and working and volunteering so much) or Lili who did not leave a forwarding cubicle address. On the way down there Kelly and I listened to My Lobotomy. It was boring at times, but overall pretty damn interesting. Apparently if you were depressed in the 50's there was a chance that some jackass would scoot your eyeball over with an ice-pick and jab needles around for a few minutes. Yay!
As far as Memphis goes there's not much to report. We spent a lot of time with family, went to a hibachi grill which terrified one of Kelly's nieces. I introduced my Mom to Craigslist and she's already sold a few things in a matter of hours. Now someone needs to buy her house before she drives my grandmother crazy. Anyone who can make crêpes like my grandma should be treated with respect!
On the way home we listened to some lectures on the Late Middle Ages. Apparently guns > knights. And "knights" was once pronounced phonetically, but now for some reason that escapes me, is not. That's not all we learned of course, but it's getting close to closing time so I need to finish up some work.
Poot.

Lasterday

Tuesday was pretty fun. Kelly and I, taking advantage of the sixty degree weather, took the bikes to Rocheport and rode the Katy trail until I realized the wind coming off the river was significantly freezinger than regular wind so we didn't make it too far. We found a nice trail that goes up a mountain. There was another that went into a marsh with a little duck ... uh viewing box thing. Yeah that's what it's called. I took some pictures, but they didn't turn out too well because the color hasn't really returned to the trees yet. Get on that, trees!
Then we drove around and found a nice Thai place. Why don't more dishes have peanuts in them? I'm going to start trying peanuts in more things like um cereal... uh.... stew.
Yum?
After dinner we came home and pvp'd for too long. WSG can go on forever sometimes.
We watched The Invasion which was surprisingly good. I guess when you expect a movie to suck and it doesn't suck so bad it seems better than it is. There's probably a formula or equation to represent that. If I cared I'd proba

Well anyways. I have my first volleyball practice today. I'm looking for the rules to domestic indoor volleyball online cuz I haven't played in years. I don't want to look like a jerk and not know which way to rotate or to whom to pass the ball.
But I do want to look like a jerk for using proper grammar.
Ya dig?

Blargs

I don't got much to blog about, sorry millions of loyal fans.
Due to budget cutbacks I've decided to go to Memphis for spring break.
The new Portishead album is pretty good. It's not as funky as their first two, but it's better than no album at all.
Since I've got all this bloggin space I may dedicate it to annoying coincidences. About once a week I'll sing a song or think about a movie then come across it later in the day. Sometimes it happens in 3's, but normally I only notice 2. Maybe the 3rd is hidden or I'm just not listening well enough. OR MAYBE the aliens are only doing partial mind-wipes!
Or not.
Anyway the other day was a teacher collab day so there were students. When I walked into school I started singing "school's... out... for ever, school's out for teacher collaboration day"
Then the song was playing at the bar we went to for lunch.
Exciting shit huh?

Luftwaffe

So I'm lying on the couch last night. Kelly and I are watching The Darjeeling Limited, but it's getting pretty boring so I start saying inane shit to my cat like "you're the fluffiest wuffiest cat in the world, your middle name is now Waffle, Lilywaffle, no wait, Luftwaffe, would be Lily Luftwaffe." Kelly giggles so I guess I've accomplished my goal of momentarily supplementing the entertainment. About 2 minutes further along in the movie Adrian Brody has a flashback to his father's funeral and they decide to go pick up his dead dad's porche at Luftwaffe Motors.

I get a bit freaked out and start playing back the whole movie in my head. Maybe they mentioned this automotive shop somewhere, but I can't find any instance.

This happens all the time and I find it vexing.

I'm terribly vexed.

Mondays!

It's another no-kid school day which is the best kinda day! I can get lots done without tripping on or kicking kids as they run through the halls yelling obscenities. Kansas City was pretty fun if you call behavior disorder research fun. AND I DO!

Janine Stichter gave a great presentation on the Thompson Center's cognitive behavioral interventions for Asperger students.

The next day there was a good one on teaching kids how to use self-management. One of the suggestions on correcting behavior is to film the child performing the correct action then making them watch the movie every morning. Like if a kid can't seem to raise their hand in class and just blurts out the answer 90% of the time. Apparently if you film them raising their hand and answering the questions (then the teacher issues positive reinforcement of course) and let the kid watch himself every morning he will start to realize that he should raise his hand and not be an idiot. Their words not mine! So I might offer my assistance as a geek and see if the schools need some filming or editing done.

Oh and we also ate uncooked beef. There is this rotating restaurant atop the Hyatt, but we were feeling cheap so we got some drinks and ended up at a more expensive restaurant called Benton's. There was live jazz and the lobster cognac flambée was ok, but Kelly ordered an appetizer (you know like hotwings or tater skins) but they brought her this Kobe carpaccio that wiggled down my throat and haunts me to this day!

I'm never going there again.

But we had fun. Didn't really get a chance to see much of the city. On the way in my windows kept icing over because my defrost doesn't work too well and the dashboard is kinda folding up blocking the vents and it was freezing drizzle so you couldn't really wipe it away without making it worse plus there was muck all over the roads from the snow and we couldn't see for crap.

Oh and it was too cold to go outside. That's my excuse really. See:

snow day

I never got snowdays as a kid living in California and in Memphis we only had like 1 ice day. Can't really go out and make an iceman. Mysterio would probably just come knock it down.


Anyways, school is closed, but not for me. Still got pooters to fix. Driving to work was fun. Since the car was in the garage the windshield didn't ice over until I got on the freeway then BAM, can't see crap. But I'm not complaining. It's nice and quiet here (except for the police scanner in the office, I have no idea why.) Here's a creepy thing that guards the library, oh excuse me, Media Center:

I'm probably going with Kelly to Kansas City for the weekend. It's a party extravangaza at Midwest Symposium for Leadership in Behavior Disorders!!! 2008: Truthiness, Evidence, and Practices in EBD. I'll be sure to post every exciting detail, stay tuned!!!

Very productive weekend!

Man did I get a lot done today. Not in the real world, but in a pretend one that I pay $14 a month to live... plus $14 more for Kelly's pretend people too. We pretty much pvp'd alllll weekend. I kept telling myself it was too cold to go outside. It was 7 degrees at 7a.m. But I did go to the store. That was something. Sure it was to buy booze, but at least I managed to put on pants and step outside and it was scary!
Man this is turning out to be a very exciting blogonet. People far and wide will be reading it and passing my stories down to their grandchildren. Just kidding, the rapture will happen before long. Isn't it funny that the country with the most nuclear weapons has the most people that believe in the rapture? I don't have the exact figures, but I checked my gut and that's more accurate than numbers.

bonus!

oh man the first day and already another post to take up space in the tubes!
damn i wish this would auto capitalize words for me. I used Outlook for 5 years and it quickly broke me of good keyboarding habits. I should start a support group. Yeah that sounds very fun.
Anyways, it's almost noon and I'm faced with the work day delima of weather I want to go home and eat at 12 since I'm hungry or do I have the capacity to wait until 12:30? You see, at 12:30 Everyday Italian comes on and I can pretend that what I'm eating is what Guildeleala deLaurenteais(sp?) is cooking on the tv. If you haven't seen the show then you're an idiot. Stop living a lie!
right now I'm reimaging a laptop that's in dire need of a reloadin. downloading secutiry update for windows xp updated 15 of 93... hey almost done!
i better get ready!

begin transmission

Welcome to blog. How are you? Ok that's nice.
My name Thomas.
I don't know why I'm typing like dork.
Ok I stop.
This is a boredom-based-blog called A Baby Signed My Baseball. It's a statement I overheard while fixing computers in an elementary school. I think it was a special ed kid who was trying to impress his friend by repeating something he heard an older sibling say. At least that's how I rationalize it. Maybe it really happened. I'll never know, but I know I like it.